Hi My Dear Blog/ Diary,

Wow you've really changed your layout and all huh.
It must be weird to see me back to this semi-abandon space again.

Well, perhaps I have a sudden urge of writing a blog?
Perhaps I feel like writing a diary book for a while, and I came here to release part of my yearning?
Perhaps I just feel like writing!

Lots have been happening. (And I can't believe I'm writing so much personal blogging like I'm writing a real diary entry on this public space hahaa)

Since I've graduated from the university (which I thought was the worse of my life, going through a mild depression, falling sick psychologically and physically, especially in the "gastric-prone" state). I felt a little worse. But at least there are ups and downs sometimes exhilarated, at times exasperated, and others depreciated. But at least I'm a little more healthy now. Mentally and physically! : >


Oh and did I talk about going to Yoga classes?
Zoe have gotten some 14-days free trial of Yoga classes from one of the clubs in Orchard. We've gone to two so far. Last Saturday, we went to our first class (we signed up for Hot Yoga). Wow! It was our first time trying out yoga (for me first time 'professionally') and also first time Hot Yoga! We were doing yoga in a heated room of (supposedly) 37degrees Celsius. The spot were we're at possibly didn't have as much consistency in the temperature though. Coz I felt some cool air in the mist of the hot ones. But the room have the really orangey tinted lights which makes you feel like being in a desert. It was alright I would say, but left us both really bad aches. From arms, to back, to thighs, to stomach....it shows how unhealthy and under-exercised we are huh. :P

Yesterday's lesson called the Yin & Yang Yoga which was meant for practicing breathing or something (but felt more like a patience exercise) was kinda boring. And I didn't felt good at all after doing it. We tried the steam bath, and it was so much better than the yoga itself! And today, I've got a slight headache again! Possibly due to this yoga with so many postures that have the head going at an downward position...pfft. (hate headaches)


Well the reason why I am sad and agitated is because, It is FREAKING HARD to find a suitable job! Well at least for me, it has been really hard trying to find the dream job I want.
1. I wanted a job doing music. --> Which is really difficult in SG as the music ind/scene here is freaking small. (I seriously do not mind a slightly lower than usual degree pay for this. But I would like to be in a good company, or at least a good working environment and organized company.)
2. If I do not get to do music. I would love to get a degree paying job (& I mean like at least 2.5k). Else all my hardship while studying and trying to pull through will be wasted right? What for I get something that isn't my preference of doing and still having low pay? It doesn't make sense.


And now I'm under probation in a post production audio house. As a (junior) producer. Producer sounds pretty glamourous eh? But it isn't the kind of producer for all my life I thought it was. It is another kind of producer. Which I would call it to be more like an admin + PR person. Kinda boring to me. After less than a month, meh. I feel there's no purpose in life like this. Nothing is fulfilling. I'm happier even when I'm studying, as I feel that I'm learning. It is meaningful, I'm doing things that matters.

Worse point of this job? Many of my colleagues are smokers. I really hate cigarette smell. I could take the smell of weed (smells good actually) but not cigarette. In the office, there are 3 people who constantly (taking turns or not) going to the pantry for a smoke break. Sadly, there isn't a door stopping any cigarette smell from creeping down the stairs from the third floor to the second (where I'm at). And I have to constantly cover my nose and mouth with my jacket sleeve, breathing through there. It has now (after 1.5months) come to the point where I feel like puking whenever I smell the cigarette brand of my boss's. When walking in front of a pedestrian on a walkway who's smoking the same brand, I feel like vomiting. And I totally have to hold my breath and slowly breathe in and getting used to the smell of cigarette till I reach second floor so as not to feel sick.

These two points have really made me consider over and over and OVER again, if I should really take up this job.

But not all is bad. Other than learning new aspect on this audio industry which I fall in love for the production over a few weeks, the colleagues (despite the smokes) are pretty cool to work with. And I pretty much like the office's furniture layout, and studios. They are clean and tidy, not a headache to see at all. The organization of the company is good too. Unlike the previous company which offered me my dream job of Sound Designer/Composer.

Sometimes I ask myself, did I regret not taking up the offer to be what I wanted to, and to accept the other which is bleh...
I always ended up reassuring myself. Meh. Nope. That previous company was way too disorganized. I'll die there. But now I'm left disorientated myself... :/

Thanks for hearing me rant. :)